Another average week for the distinctly non-average baggage handler. Monday – mobbed by air hostesses wanting favours. Tuesday – back shift. Wednesday – back shift. Thursday – Richard and Judy and Gordon Brown. Here he is, on that very show, reminding us that when the law falls, we all fall.
Call of Duty
Yes, it was a whistlestop tour of the Capital yesterday afternoon, with Smeato in smart casual garb, lollling Alan Sugar-style in the back of a chauffeur driven limousine. And yet again he is front page news all round.
After seeing the nation’s favourite daytime chat show hosts, it was off to Number 10 for a pow-wow with big Gordon. Looking for all the word like an errant schoolboy pulled up to see the headmaster, then finding out he is getting praised, not detention, he posed for photographers reading the front page.
Detention time?
Hostess With The Mostest
Props to the Daily Record today – I thought I had run every possible Smeaton/Smeato/Smeats/Smeat combination through my head but Downing Smeat was a good ‘un. But The (Soaraway) Sun have dug deeper yet again, and come up with the saucy Pam Ann, another air hostess-type apparently “dying to join the mile-high club with Smeato“. With a sharp eye for our national character, she is quoted as saying:
I think people in Scotland are like pit-bull terriers – they’re straining at the leash for a drink
Izzy has competition
Where can Smeatomania go from here? A tete-a-tete with George W at Camp David? Surely a guest spot on the Simpsons must be in the works. And the movie guys must be lapping (or snorting) all this attention up. Will it be Top Gun with baggage handlers instead of F14 fighter jets?