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The Glasgow Airport hero had the picky Fringe audience eating out of his hand on the opening night of his hilarious An Audience With… show.
Smeato talked them through his meteoric rise from baggage handler to superstar.
They giggled about his meetings with Gordon Brown, the Queen and Billy Connolly.
And laughed out loud at his indecent proposal from two randy air stewardesses.
EARLY morning rain spatters the kitchen windows of one of Edinburgh New Town’s more salubrious addresses as a sock-clad, sleepy-eyed John Smeaton pours his second cup of tea of the day.
The birds might still be in their beds, but Smeaton and his trademark Glasgow banter are already up and about. “Why does nobody take sugar any more?” he demands, shaking his head in mock outrage and handing me a steaming mug of sugarless tea. “Just what is the world coming tae?”
He’s our baggage handler hero, now John Smeaton tries his hand at comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe. With jokes about football, airport antics and meeting the Prime Minister, he seems to be onto a winner.
Glasgow Airport hero John Smeaton gives his frank opinions on the state of world affairs.
John Smeaton had just stepped out for a cigarette while at work.
But his work was at Glasgow Airport and the date was 30th June 2007 and two Islamist terrorists had driven a burning jeep into the entrance.
The baggage handler leapt into action, subduing the terrorists as they fought against the police.
When asked about his bravery, Smeaton conveyed to international news audiences his no-nonsense approach to tackling terrorists: “This is Scotland; we’ll just set aboot ye!”
His remarks proved a hit with internet audiences and soon Smeaton – or ‘Smeato’ as he became known – was a household name all over the world. The New York Times called him “the new Braveheart”.
Celebrity, awards, and even his own newspaper column followed, but the 33-year-old has retained his down-to-earth charm.
His Fringe show asks ‘What Would Smeato Do?’ as he ‘sets aboot’ the major issues facing the world today.
His legion fans – who still maintain Smeato fan sites online – will rush to this one-man show to learn more about the man behind the myth.
John Smeaton is on at Assembly from 17th to 30th August.
An excellent article written by Dominic Cavendish for the Telegraph can be found by clicking on the following link: Can John Smeaton be its saviour?
SMEATO HITS THE FRINGE! AN AUDIENCE WITH JOHN SMEATON!
Mon 17 – Sun 30 Aug 2009
The Glasgow Airport Baggage Handler Hero/Folk Philosopher. The man with a thousand opinions: ‘sets aboot ye!’
World in Crisis? What would John Smeaton do?
After Starring in 100s of Edinburgh Fringe performers stories over the last 2 years, we can now confirm that finally the man himself is to appear in his own Fringe show this Summer!
AN AUDIENCE WITH JOHN SMEATON
(Chaired by Arnold Brown.)
The 2009 Edinburgh Fringe Festival
Mon 17 – Sun 30 Aug 2009
Venue: The Edinburgh Suite
The Assembly Rooms
54 George Street
EDINBURGH
SCOTLAND
Show starts: 11.25pm [60 mins]
Mon 17 – Sun 30 Aug. 2009
(No show Mon 24 Aug)
NOTE: Tickets for The SMEATO show go on sale from 10 June.
The box office phone: 0131 623 3030 (from US. Call 0114 4131 623 3030)
www.assemblyfestival.com
Come and ask the man himself your questions…
Hear Smeato’s Secrets of the Universe…learn about The Art of Baggage Handling (“Kick em!?” The Editor).. Fly fishing .(Kick em!?).The Smeato Guide to Military History..( “Kick em!? ” Ed.).. Xbox…. tackling terrorists..(” Kick em!!” Ed.)…politicians who have never held a real job outside politics.. (“Kick em!?” Ed.)..people who sponge off of the state and complain…(Kick em!?”Ed ) .Football (“Kick em!? Ed”)…My biggest battle….60 mins from Death..” What 2 weeks in a coma taught me.”
Roll up and hear Smeato further expound on a myriad of subjects including..
“My travels in America… Suitcases…. P.E.T.A ..(Who? Ed. “That’s people who pass on nonfactual information and treat it as the gospel truth!” Smeato)…dogs…single Malt whisky…Religious fundamentalists of any kind..Smeato’s Guide to the Movies.. more on.. dogs…..Bankers… Honesty and Smeato’s Top Ten Ways to Have Fun..”
Mon 17 – Sun 30 Aug 2009
The very PC comedian Arnold Brown* chairs the very NON PC SMEATO in..
AN AUDIENCE WTH JOHN SMEATON.
(*The Perrier Award Winning veteran laconic Glaswegian comedian.. First night Comedy Store performer/ Comic Strip member.. “Arnold Brown is The King of the one liners”… ..The Comedy Store founder Peter Rosengard.
AN AUDIENCE WITH JOHN SMEATON.
The Queen’s Gallantry Award Medal Holder…
Glasgow Airport Terror attack/ CNN Global Hero:
“The New Braveheart’. New York Times.
‘International spokesman for Scottish Defiance’. Wall Street Journal.
‘They’re on their feet for Smeat!’ Sun.
“I must have 2 tickets.!”..Osama Bin Laden.
..Two historic events today!!
With immaculate timing. John Smeato left Hospital at exactly the same time across the pond Barak Obama won the US election.
Unconnected? – I don’t think so..
Watch out for Smeato to be appointed to a top position in the Obama Administation! Secretary of State!!?? I’m not saying anything?
Here’s some more goodies!
The Sun article – 4th November Part 1 (PDF)
The Sun article – 4th November Part 2 (PDF)
SMEATO hits a TV screen near you !
This TUESDAY 26TH FEBRUARY BBC1 Scotland (Also Available on SKY TV) 10.35pm
Yes! At last after several days of relative silence, now the true story of your Everyman Local Superhero is on TV. SMEATO the world’s most famous baggage handler tells in his OWN WORDS! The true story of the last mind boggling life changing world shattering 8 months… in a wee TV documentary film. Could this be just the prequel? A first step on the long and winding road to The Oscars? THE SMEATONATOR PART 1.!?
This is literally stop press, because the news was embargoed until one minute ago: it can now be officially announced that Smeato’s act of bravery has won the Queen’s Gallantry Medal.
The medal was introduced in 1974, to award acts of bravery by civilians, although it can be awarded to military personnel when not in direct contact with the enemy. In the 33 years since it was instituted, fewer than 600 have been presented.
Smeato says “It’s unbelievable! I never thought I would ever get a medal. I never imagined anything like this could happen. It really is amazing, and it’s really really special, coming from Her Majesty. I feel deeply honoured”.
So … here he is. Smeato in New York, holding his heroic award over his sporran. And if you want to take a look at the CNN video, then try this for size. A quality bit of footage.
SMEATO AWARDED FIRST EVER CNN GLOBAL EVERYMAN SUPER HERO AWARD AT NEW YORK CEREMONY Thursday night Dec 6th.
John Smeaton, the baggage handler hero of The Glasgow Airport terror attack.. who with several others, attacked the terrorists who attempted to blow up the crowded passenger terminal on June 30th..and who then himself became World Headline News when he was interviewed and declared to terrorists everywhere…
“DON’T COME TO GLASGOW! .. COS WE’LL SET ABOOT YOU! ” .. and as a result became an internet phenomenon.
www.(johnsmeaton.com) Was honoured in New York Thursday night at The First CNN Global Heroes Ceremony. ( Live 9pm Eastern Time: 2am in UK)
John was one of only 3 out of a total of 7000 Nominees from over 90 countries, to be selected as a CNN Everyman Hero. The Kilt wearing Smeaton, the World’s most famous baggage handler hero attended the Ceremony held at The Museum of Natural History in New York.
Sheryl Crowe, Norah Jones and Wycliff Jean provided the entertainment. Guests included NY Police Commissioner Kelly, and The Duchess of York who presented an Award.
Our man in a phone call from NY. To yours truly said. “Awesome! It was absolutely awesome! Brilliant! I love this City… everyones been so kind to me …it’s been absolutely amazing!..I can’t believe it”
It makes a change to see something just a little bit more in depth, and thoughtful, and interested, and (actually) interesting about the Smeatonator. You know, something which goes a bit beyond the ordinary observations. Check out this Observer article by Simon Garfield and find out how Brown comes second to Salmond on the Smeato-meter … and what you can do with golf clubs.
Smeato’s kilt outfit must be seeing more use this year than ever before, what with all the award ceremonies he’s been attending lately. The Daily Mirror Pride of Britain was the latest bash, where he got the bravery award along with Michael Kerr, Alex McIlveen and Stephen Clarkson. Read the Mirror article here. Enjoy the wild-eyed video below.
